What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

How can I be okay with being ugly? What is the bright side?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Why would a man be interested in an ordinary woman while there are very beautiful and fabulous women?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Why does Africa have all mineral resources but she is suffering economically?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

If I only have a fire extinguisher to defend myself against some threat from people, should I spray them for max damage or just hit them with the fire extinguishers?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

TEXT:

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Why is Elon Musk so ugly?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Why was Super Buu so afraid of having Fat Buu torn out and becoming Kid Buu if he was going to destroy the Earth even before his transformation?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Why are there so many girls and not enough boys to follow?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Why The Simpsons stopped producing Maude Flanders episodes?

Make Nazis afraid again!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Why do people with trauma easily recognize other people with trauma through eye contact?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Why won't biden give a last minute deferred action TO ALL undocumented immigrants so Trump can't deport them? Obama issued DACA, why can't Biden issue something similar that protects ALL undocumented immigrants from deportation?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

How do military families handle communication when a service member is injured overseas?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.